dreamsailboat

even with a flat tragectory, the sight is angled, and adjusts with your imagination for range/distance.

finally some progress, changed sprocket and cog on the bike project and got a new chain! back on the road! also changed from single stack division to open class division in my sportsmanship, finally getting the grips changed and beaver tail and c-more put on. rah rah rah. tho missed yoga class and did not exercise at all, but got some major chores done, that have been waiting around too long to get done. back to job hunting tomorrow and working on the varnish and cleaning... I hope i can finally run out of projects soon and get back to just working or at leat looking for work and not juggling a million things at once and being holed up sick or injured...
:D pictures to follow!!! for real.
ame back and bbq!d seaks and wine, lovely warm evening!

its not just how paintings look, but how the painter thinks about painting

sooo, took my freestyle bike out for a test ride today. needless to say no fantastic tricks were done, but I did have fun, and its a huge work out, even more then spinning. i am not even going to say what totally lame tricks I mastered, but i am a little better then yesterday at freestyling --hahaha!

just cut my hand pretty bad fixing the galley sink, took a chunck of skin off and bleeding alot. all bandaged up , but it hurts. bad luck is all. if i was more organized i'd take bloody pictures and post, but will spare you.
:/

on the water playing.


off the water...headed for a martini!

ps- second worst haircut this year, tho i have hopes it will grow into something ok.

sailboat raced last night, we came in 7th, not bad about middle of the boats :D worked all day and spinned a little at the gym aftger work. blah, off to sleep!

oh they are having a Caddyshack themed costume kegger party at the Yatch club friday night, and doesnt that sound like fun! I am invited. I just need to find some over alls a boonie hat, a goffer puppet and a garden hose, and I can be Bill Murray the grounds keeper, or an explosive plunger and a C4 goffer... :DDD want to go with me!

got a beater bike tonight $50. should be fun!

worked out again at the gym today. spinning for 3 hours after work. 3 days in a row, i think I am almost over my sniffles, hardly any snot left! working out is definitly clearing my lungs of goobers. :D
Yay!

built up hatred and persecution, whether real or imagined gathers support and leadership(?), rebellion erupts, jihad, money reinforces police military defense and the valley is taken back, a repetitive global theme these days...

which leaders really build up this kind of inequality of forces, the taliban or the international millitary or both? countryside strong holds v. international city governments? the rich v. the poor?

ebb and flow of money and war, all still sounds like police tactics and monopolies of power, all the while [us] congress is wondering where the money is going, they cite the afganistan connection, but no direct mention of heroin money financing the opposition [or both sides]?

comments on:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8059900.stm

RANDOME ONLINE FRIEND ADD: Hi, I would like to know why do you want to be my friend? Thanks

ME: Random friend add, I saw you were also a fan of Angelina Jolie! Isn't she hot! :)

RANDOME ONLINE FRIEND ADD: sure! I make her profil on facebook yesterday to do a joke (it's my "virtual girlfriend" online, lol, because my ex girlfriend has broken with me..) There is 54 persons asking her to add in her friends...lol

ME: wow, thats a lot! i wonder if she is really online, and if she uses a fake name or her own? Thats a funny joke! Did you add them or write to them yet? :D so, Man, are French girls as sexy as everyone thinks? I have never dated a French gf? American girls are ok, but also break up all the time, seems girls always want more... :/

RANDOME ONLINE FRIEND ADD:
If she is online, i really think she uses a fake name, she and her star friends...
I always had french girlfriends therefore I cannot compare, but I went in Spain and in London and I do not like the spanish character.

ME:
I noticed some famous people have closed accounts that take no friend requests. they probably get like a million requests a day!!! I mostly only get requests from people I know, but its fun to meet other people that I don't know, lots of good people everywhere, I guess thats what famous and rich is, everyone wants to know you and you are too busy to talk to anyone!

do you think she has star friends or regular people friends too? probably only star friend, can't imagine what it is like to be that famous and rich, though she seems to do well with it! I only know what its like to be poor and not famous! :D but thats ok too as long as you can have some fun and be happy!

I had a few different girl friend from other countries, but it seems that girls from your own country seem to be more fun, with less character problems...

Good to hear your voice of reason, you need to talk about your ups and downs as well as your ups especially to the people who matter to you, we all want to hear it. Please remind me of my past anytime and everytime you want, just be honest, as you know I am honest too.

You have to tell people you love about good and bad, like you said, D didnt know about the drugs, I know you never talked to me about them,and I only knew from the bad times. I always wondered about this, and why you fear confiding in me or other people you love, unless you are afraid to hear the truth, or just dont want to admit a bad choice. D does also pay well and leave you with lots of free time to yourself, so even if he was not involved in problems in the past, working around him did set up conditions for problems both in HI ans SB, so what realistically will you do to avoid the same traps for problems? Surfing and scuba diving doesnt sound really like you? there are sure to be meditation centers or other more realistic groups you can join or meet with in Hawaii, like you said they have problems, but also a lot of people there who seek solutions, rather then repeat problems.

It sounds like good reasons for going to Hawaii, but be clear it is not the easiest place either, and there are down sides to it also. Go and try it out, but have a back up plan a "plan B", just in case... even if there is no plan to leave Hawaii, at least have a plan how long you would have to stay there and what you might do after, would you were to come back, where would you go? Would you job hunt for resorts or elsewhere while you are in Hawaii as a option, if yo want to leave? Who else do you knw besides D in HI, that can help you if you need to?

Remember there are good and bad people (weak and strong), and you can always count me among the good people you can be honest with, whether good or bad times in your life, and always feel free to remind me of my past, there is nothing in my past I hide or have hidden from anyone, My childhood had many bad parts, but as an adult, I have left childhood behind. Though I too have suffered very much from the actions of bad people on my life. I stand behind my choices I have made as an Adult. Childhood, is well another matter ;) Just respect my privacy and if you have questions of my past, ask or write to me privately, as I dont think you really understand much about my life, from the way you mention my past? I don't think you understand that there are many bad people who easilly try to poison, murder and rob people for a sucky job or pathetic school assignment, but the fact is that there are, and not to sound or make you feel paranoid, but there is a difference from bad personal choices and being a victim of criminal persecution and attacks. A difference from being stalked and persecuted or people trying to murder you, and having an addiction problem. Our problems in adult life have been very different, self victimization is different from being strictly a victim of others, not to say that most self victimization does not regularly stem from other victimizing you and setting you up for self victimization, of over powering addiction, but they do differ in terms of maturity. Not to sound superior or condescending, but I can see how many problems you might be alluding to had very different outcomes for me, as a victim, then for people who also victimize themselves. Corruption and crime is a part of our world, and not an illusion, we need to be aware of it, and guard against helping to defeat ourselves, even under increasing pressure from others. The maxim, though stands true for all of us, we can not change bad people around us and it is a waste of time to struggle against them, but we can change everything about ourselves and it is foolish not to continue to do so at every oppertunity. I know my adult problems come from criminals and forces outside of myself, and so I have no need to hide my adult past. Even my childhood, I can defend, as I know my heart and choices were aimed at good ends self growth, and not greed or evil.

Where there is competition or shortage of demand, there will always be temptation for people to do bad on others, but we don't have to hide what happens to us. I know my past shows my strength and fortitude against a lot of black adversity, as do all people, but there is nothing I hide, or am ashamed of, I know my heart has always been in the right place, and my actions have been the best I could do at any time, with that in mind, why should I hide anything? or be ashamed of it. Please tell me about it or anything you think is in my past? Though respect my privacy, as it is easy to misinterpret bad times, especially bad times caused by criminals and murderers set to defeat us.

Remember who your friends are, and don't fear the past or our choices good or bad, we do try to do the best we can. Have faith.

I am so ready to be over this cold!

feeling better over my cold mostly, still a little sniffly, abd taking it easy. but did laundry and cleaned the boat out today and finally did some work, pulled out the old batteries! Finally, been meaning to do it for a few month now, just putting it off dreading it as, they weight a ton! and got a new one to replace them with also installed, didnt get as much done as I need to, but still taking it easy and glad to be be feeling better, even though it was a pretty mild and small cold, for all the swine flu phobias going around, I feel silly to be fussing over a sinus congestion really.. but that is life, arent we self centered... :/ Cooked a huge great dinner, steak, salmon, fresh corn and french bread... num num num... :P

sailboat racing tomorrow...

still sneezing and coughing, but I think my cold is almost gone, and am feeling better :D

sailing again last night: its official, my cold has moved from my head/sinus to my throat. I sound like a frog. *cough* and I am going saiing aain tomorrow night. and have too much work to be sick. but must rest anyways *cogh cough*

blah-dont know why i am awake! >_

pictures out sailing last night :)

worked, exercised, cooked, fillet mignon and salmon steak with french bread and cab sauv. ah...

sailboat racing last night. lovely foggy warm weather. dinner and drinks until too late at the yatch club...

i felt rusty a bit trimming sails, and afterwards i felt lost in meaningless bombastic chatter, but at home in any company.
even alien shiny happy fell fed people. I wonder how I look to them?

and talking I see the underlying fear, fear of terrorism and war, fear of pandemic, fear of competiton,
that so many people dont want to talk about, or self identify or the anger that is underneath so much of the fear.
Its all hidden there like a current hidden under the surface.

How hard it is sometimes to come out of my inner depths and laugh too loudly or feel too much
as usual i feel quiet and withdrawn, protective of everyone and everything,
even my worst enemy, needs my protection. Everything is so fragile.